Original Fiction: Mr. Nine and the Gentleman Ghost
by Aidan Doyle
copyright ﾂｩ 2010 / May not be reproduced without permission
Elisabeth gave her invitation to the valet and received a gilt-edged program in return. It welcomed her to the Bearbrass Gentle Ladies Society Monthly Ball. The valet glanced at Elisabeth窶冱 satchel and then escorted her into the ballroom.
Bearbrass had been a sleepy colonial outpost until gold was discovered in the nearby hills. Within three years, it had been transformed into the largest city in all of the colonies. Elisabeth did not think of this as necessarily an improvement.
A dozen chandeliers clung to the ceiling and paintings imported from the empire competed for space on the walls. An orchestra of more than twenty musicians waited on the stage at the far end of the room.
Mrs. Rittiker, the president of the Bearbrass Gentle Ladies Society, greeted Elisabeth at the entrance. She was a short, stout woman in her early fifties and wore a purple chiffon gown with a plunging neckline. 窶弸ou窶况e come without a chaperone again,窶 she said. 窶廬f I were half the gentle lady I pretend to be, I would be thoroughly scandalized.窶
Elisabeth laughed. Although ostensibly the Gentle Ladies Society served as an organizer of social functions, the society窶冱 inner council was devoted to recovering the lost knowledge of the ancient gentle ladies. She had known Mrs. Rittiker all of her life. She handed over the satchel. 窶廡resh from the book mines.窶
Mrs. Rittiker opened the bag and took out a book. She brushed a speck of dirt from the cover and smiled when she read the title: The Gentle Ladies窶 Guide to Midnight Apparitions. 窶廸o one has your talent for finding books, Elisabeth.窶
She replaced the book in the satchel and handed it to a servant. 窶弋ake this to my carriage.窶 She took Elisabeth by the hand. 窶弋here are some handsome young men waiting to see you.窶 Mrs. Rittiker led her over to the other guests and a dozen young men formed a line in front of her.
Elisabeth suppressed a sigh. The only reason she came to the balls was to meet Bertie, and he was always irritatingly late.
窶弋his is Horatio Lightfellow,窶 Mrs. Rittiker said. 窶廩e arrived on this morning窶冱 zeppelin from the empire.窶
窶廚harmed to meet you,窶 Lightfellow said. 窶廣t some point in the evening I would be most happy to inform you of the latest fashions in the capital.窶 His gaze strayed to Elisabeth窶冱 hair. She had been born with hair made from gold.
窶廬 had been told of the remarkable properties of Bearbrass gold,窶 he said. 窶廝ut I wasn窶冲 aware it extended to the city窶冱 inhabitants.窶
Elisabeth could think of nothing less interesting than talking about what clothes people she had never met were wearing. 窶廬 was conceived in a gold mine,窶 she said.
Lightfellow looked shocked. 窶廬 hardly think that窶冱 something a young lady should mention.窶 He looked to Mrs. Rittiker for assistance. 窶廬 had heard tales of the wild women in the colonies, but I had presumed them exaggerated.窶
窶廝earbrass Gentle Ladies are not as gentle as the ladies of the empire,窶 Mrs. Rittiker said. 窶弩e take great pride in that.窶
窶廴y father was a gold prospector,窶 Elisabeth said. 窶廴y mother was a librarian. I am a book prospector.窶
窶彜he窶冱 the best in all the colonies,窶 Mrs. Rittiker added. 窶廩er heart is made from gold too.窶
Lightfellow appeared lost for words. 窶廴ay I have the pleasure of the last dance?窶 he eventually asked.
窶廬窶冦 terribly sorry, Mr. Lightfellow,窶 Elisabeth replied. 窶廬 always leave the last dance free.窶
He checked his program. 窶弋he seventeenth dance?窶
窶廬 would be most pleased to dance with you.窶 She wrote Lightfellow in the space next to 17 on her program.
Lightfellow bowed and hastily retreated. The next man stepped forward and the process continued. She insisted on leaving the last dance free.
The orchestra started playing. Her first partner led her onto the polished hardwood floor. She danced a waltz, changed partners, danced a polka, then a one step and another waltz. Her partners were a mixture of gold prospectors, bankers and cattle kings. Halfway through the night they paused for supper and crowded around tables laden with cakes and pastries. Elisabeth helped herself to a slice of chocolate cake.
Mrs. Rittiker gathered a crowd around her and began a lengthy tale of her exploits on the cricket field.
Elisabeth overheard Lightfellow expressing his disapproval of Bearbrass women.
Then everyone fell silent. Elisabeth turned around.
A four foot high ventriloquist窶冱 puppet stood at the entrance to the room. It wore a dark suit and orange bow tie and clenched a poster in its right hand. The puppet marched mechanically towards the stage, its wooden limbs jerking as though pulled by invisible strings.
Elisabeth leaned over to Mrs. Rittiker. 窶弩ho窶冱 that?窶
窶廴r. Nine. The Governor hired it to crush the miners窶 rebellion. Now it can go wherever it pleases. Even the Governor窶冱 scared of it.窶
The puppet slowly made its way up the stage stairs. It took a moment to survey the crowd. 窶廴r. Nine is most sorry to intrude.窶 It unfurled a wanted poster, revealing a sketch of a monkey. 窶廴r. Nine wants this monkey spirit. Have you seen it?窶
No one spoke. The puppet sniffed the air. It stared at Elisabeth.
Her heart hammered against her chest. 窶廩ow did it come to life?窶 she whispered.
窶弋he gold did it. Now it has to eat gold to stay alive.窶 Mrs. Rittiker glanced at Elisabeth窶冱 golden strands. 窶弸ou should be careful, my dear.窶
A servant placed a table and stool at the edge of the stage. The puppet sat down and rested its elbows on the table. The little finger on its left hand was missing.
窶弩hy is it looking for a monkey spirit?窶 Elisabeth asked.
窶廣 monkey spirit bit off one of its fingers.窶
A servant brought a pile of pancakes sprinkled with gold dust to Mr. Nine窶冱 table. The puppet began eating with great gusto, shoveling the pancakes into its little mouth. It washed them down with a glass of iced water mixed with gold flakes.
The orchestra resumed playing and Elisabeth窶冱 next dance partner escorted her onto the floor. She couldn窶冲 help glancing at Mr. Nine and twice accidentally stood on her partner窶冱 foot. The puppet finished eating the pancakes and licked its lips with its bright green tongue.
The dances continued until it was almost time for the last dance. Captain Albert Widdershins floated through the far wall and strode through the orchestra. The musicians scattered. No one liked having a ghost walk through them.
Elisabeth felt the tension slip away. Bertie always liked to make a grand entrance. He was six feet tall with a ramrod-straight back, a trim moustache and short hair. He had once been a zeppelin captain and wore riding boots and a tight-fitting military uniform. She could sense the envy of the other young ladies. He was the most handsome gentleman ghost in all of Bearbrass. He had died in the mines and the gold had brought him back.
He nodded to Mrs. Rittiker and glided over to Elisabeth. 窶廬f you窶冤l permit me to say so, you look most enchanting tonight, Miss Elisabeth.窶
窶弃ermission granted, Captain Widdershins.窶
窶廬 must once again apologize for my tardiness.窶
窶弋he hour grows late, Captain. I fear the last dance is almost upon us.窶
He stepped closer to her. 窶廬f the lady would be so kind as to allow me to touch her golden locks.窶
She nodded. He slipped off his gloves and put them in his belt. When his spectral hand met Elisabeth窶冱 hair, a jolt of energy coursed through her. His ghostly hand assumed a solid form and gradually his whole body transformed into solid flesh.
His hand lingered a moment on her hair. 窶廴ay I have the last dance?窶
She pretended to check her program. Then she took his arm in hers. His body was cold, but she felt it growing warmer.
In her excitement at Bertie窶冱 arrival, she had almost forgotten about Mr. Nine. The puppet watched silently from its stool. She tried to put it out of her mind.
The last dance was a waltz. The captain encircled her waist with his right arm and took her right hand in his left. He twirled her and led her around in a circle. The rest of the world seemed to disappear. It was just the music and Bertie窶冱 strong arms. It felt like they had only been dancing for a few seconds and then the music finished.
窶廾nce again, Miss Elisabeth you have enchanted me with your grace and beauty,窶 Bertie said. 窶廬 warrant that even the Queen of the Fairies would acknowledge you as the superior dancer.窶
Elisabeth laughed. 窶廣nd I warrant that even the King of the Leprechauns would acknowledge you as the superior flatterer.窶
Footsteps sounded behind her. She turned to see Mr. Nine.
The puppet bowed. 窶廴r. Nine would like to request the last dance.窶
窶廝ut the last dance has just finished,窶 she said.
窶弋hat was the second last dance,窶 the puppet replied. 窶弋he orchestra will play again. What is the lady窶冱 preference? A waltz?窶
窶廬窶冦 sorry, but the evening is late. I must be getting home.窶
窶廛o not concern yourself. Mr. Nine窶冱 carriage will take you home.窶
Captain Widdershins stepped in front of Elisabeth. 窶弋he lady has said she is going home. It is the height of bad manners to persist in bothering her.窶
Mr. Nine stared at Widdershins. 窶廴r. Nine is requesting the last dance. This does not concern you.窶
Elisabeth put a hand on his shoulder. 窶廬t窶冱 all right, Bertie.窶 She looked down at Mr. Nine. 窶弋hank you for your offer, but Captain Widdershins has already agreed to escort me home.窶
The puppet sniffed the air and its green tongue crept along its lips. 窶廴r. Nine is hungry. Mr. Nine likes your smell.窶 The puppet stared at Elisabeth窶冱 chest.
Widdershins plucked a glove from his belt and slapped Mr. Nine across the face.
The puppet窶冱 eyes rolled in surprise and it glared up at Widdershins. 窶廴r. Nine accepts your challenge.窶
* * *
The Bearbrass cricket oval also served as the dueling grounds. Elisabeth and Bertie walked to the oval, followed by a crowd of onlookers. Mr. Nine traveled by carriage.
As the host of the ball, the duty of overseeing the duel fell to Mrs. Rittiker. She directed the servants as they laid out a number of lanterns in a circle.
Elisabeth and Bertie waited near the lanterns. Clouds obscured the moon, and shadows hid Bertie窶冱 face.
窶廬 don窶冲 want you to do this,窶 she said.
窶廬 don窶冲 want to do this either,窶 he replied. 窶廝ut I have no choice. If I don窶冲 stop the puppet, it will come for you. It wants to eat your heart.窶
窶廰et me worry about that. I can always hide in the mines.窶
窶廬t is my duty as a gentleman to protect you.窶
窶廬 can look after myself. Who is going to look after you?窶
窶廬 am a most accomplished duelist,窶 he replied.
窶弩hy do you have to fight now? If you wait until morning, you窶冤l be spectral again.窶
窶廬f I窶冦 spectral, I can窶冲 hold a gun,窶 Bertie said.
窶弩hat happens if a ghost is killed?窶 she asked.
窶廬f a ghost dies, you should collect some of its blood. Ghost blood has many powers.窶 He paused and then said, 窶廬 want you to promise me that you窶冤l take the first zeppelin in the morning if I don窶冲 win.窶
Elisabeth shook her head. 窶廸ot without you.窶
窶弸ou know it won窶冲 be safe here. Promise me.窶
窶廾nly if you promise that you won窶冲 die.窶
Bertie laughed. 窶廬窶冦 already dead.窶
Mrs. Rittiker walked over to them. 窶弸ou shouldn窶冲 go through with this,窶 she said. 窶弋he puppet is near unkillable. The only thing that can stop it is if you bite off parts of its body. That窶冱 why it can窶冲 replace its finger. The monkey spirit bit it off.窶
窶弋hank you for your concern, dear lady. I shall disable the puppet with a shot to the head and then I shall use my teeth to sever what body parts I deem necessary.窶
Elisabeth took his hand. 窶弃lease, Bertie.窶
窶廣 zeppelin captain never backs away from a fight.窶
Mrs. Rittiker sighed. 窶弋hen we are ready to start.窶 She walked to the center of the circle.
Bertie squeezed her fingers. 窶廨oodbye Beth.窶 He let go of her hand and followed Mrs. Rittiker.
Mr. Nine窶冱 driver opened the puppet窶冱 carriage door. Mr. Nine stepped out of the carriage and set off towards the circle. The driver took a wicker laundry basket from inside the carriage and then followed after the puppet.
Mr. Nine marched into the illuminated circle. The driver stopped at the edge of the crowd. About fifty onlookers, including several women, had come from the ball to watch the spectacle. Their faces were hidden in the shadows cast by the lanterns, but Elisabeth heard their excited voices. Witnessing a duel between a puppet and a ghost would give them a tale to entertain their society friends.
Elisabeth swore at the top of her voice.
The crowd fell into a shocked silence.
窶廝e quiet,窶 she said softly.
Mrs. Rittiker waited until Bertie and the puppet stood next to each other.
窶廛o either of you wish to withdraw from this duel?窶
窶廸o,窶 Bertie said.
窶廴r. Nine is ready to fight,窶 the puppet said.
Mrs. Rittiker handed a dueling pistol to each of the combatants. They inspected the guns and then exchanged them. They took up positions at opposite edges of the circle.
Elisabeth noticed that Mr. Nine窶冱 driver had opened the wicker basket and was peering into it.
Mrs. Rittiker held a red handkerchief in her hand. She lifted her arm and then dropped the handkerchief.
Bertie aimed his gun and fired. Mr. Nine窶冱 wooden head exploded.
The puppet窶冱 body raised its gun and shot Bertie between the eyes.
Captain Widdershins tumbled to the ground.
Elisabeth sprinted to his side. She shook him, but he didn窶冲 respond. His body was cold. She wiped the blood from his face with her handkerchief. She closed his eyes and kissed his cold lips. His body faded away.
Mr. Nine窶冱 driver carried a wooden head with an identical face on it towards Mr. Nine窶冱 headless body.
* * *
Elisabeth put on her pair of cats-eye spectacles and stepped into the mine shaft. It was dark, but the glasses allowed her to see. After ten minutes she reached a large cavern with a dozen tunnels branching off in different directions. She knew this area well and had a good idea where to look for the book she wanted. She chose one of the tunnels leading south.
Eventually she noticed some small, brown, spotted, speckled mushrooms. The wall was moist, damp, clotted and earthen. Adjectives were one of the most common signs of buried books. Now all she had to do was find a subtext. She put her nose against the earth. There was the faint smell of lemon. She followed the scent until she found a vein of books hidden near the wall. She took a small spade from her tool bag and started clearing away the dirt from the top of the dozens of books. It took her three hours, but eventually she found the book she was looking for.
Separating a book from the earth required a precision tool. It was easy to make mistakes. Several times in the past, she had cut the pages and the words had bled everywhere.
She probed the dirt at the edge of the cover with her book scalpel. After a few delicate cuts, she removed the book from the ground and looked at the cover.
The Gentle Ladies窶 Field Guide to Animal Spirits.
She leafed through it until she found an illustration that matched the sketch on the wanted poster.
The golden spectral monkey.
She carefully excised the page and smeared it with the ghost blood from her handkerchief. The page transformed into a spectral monkey.
窶廛o you know who I want you to kill?窶 she asked.
The monkey nodded. 窶廬 need gold to make me corporeal,窶 it said.
Elisabeth grabbed her pair of scissors. She was about to cut a lock of her hair, but the monkey shook its head.
窶廬 require greater payment,窶 it said.
It pointed at her heart.
* * *
Every month Elisabeth attends the Bearbrass Gentle Ladies Society Monthly Ball. She is not nearly as graceful a dancer as she used to be. A wooden heart is not an ideal substitute for one made of gold. But she is still the most beautiful girl in all of Bearbrass and many men want to dance with her.
They ask if they can have the last dance, but Elisabeth apologizes.
She always leaves the last dance free.
[end]
About the Author:
Aidan Doyle is an Australian writer and computer programmer. He loves traveling and has visited more than 70 countries. He is a Clarion South graduate and his stories and articles have been published in places such as Fantasy Magazine, The Internet Review of Science Fiction, Salon.com, Science Fiction Weekly and Australian small press magazines.
